Ježíš

My name is Mirek and I´m 26 years old.I was born in the Christian family where we didn´t practise our faith.My parents made me baptize but it was only at the grandparents´instigation and from habit.They didn´t mean anything else.They just considered it as an event and not as the beginning of the process.The years passed, everyone thrived without God and I grew in my own way.I wasn´t different from the others and so my parents gave me a free hand no matter what I was up to.It went quite well until I was about sixteen and pleased my parents greatly.

When I entered the grammar school I stopped being interested in everything that I´d enjoyed until then whether it was nature,geography or sport – gradually everything slipped my mind and I only thought of weekends with my friends.We were going to the pubs and dance parties.I started smoking because everyone around me smoked and I reckoned it was normal.All the people in the pub were normal after all but only until they´ d drunk their fifth beer.I wasn´t keen on sport anymore and I only rode to school because I always bought a carton of cigarettes for the money I´d saved up.What else could have made me happy?The pocket money,which I received from my parents, was twice or three times the amount of usual pocket money of the teenagers at that time.However, it stopped being sufficient for my needs.And so from time to time I took away some bottles from home.Nobody noticed anything because there were plenty of things at home.At summer holidays I always took a temporary job but I never bought anything for the earned money.I spent all my money on the spirits.I was never hungover after the parties and if so I always washed it down with something similar and the problems were sorted out.The time went on and I was nineteen.I´d just passed the school-leaving exam and the whole life was ahead of me.As for beer,I might have drunk the equivalent of a tanker and as a consequence my hands started shaking.I spent another year drinking.Then I entered university in Ostrau majoring in geography and the regional development because I´d liked these subjects long ago.Plenty of people around me with whom I had a long chat told me:“Miro, you must be so clever that you´re studying in Ostrau.But I was glad to reckon up the bill and not to pee my trousers when I was at the toilet.

However, there was a time that´s the worst for the alcoholic who doesn´t take it seriously.I got broke.I went to school less often but I dedicated more time to the moonlight jobs.Appproximately once or twice a week I didn´t drink but otherwise I was drunk as a skunk all the time.My son was born at this period and it was the last straw.I came to know about it only when his mother was five months pregnant.During those five months we hadn´t seen one another nor been in touch with one another.At that moment I felt I was being wronged and was afraid of everything.A packet of cigarettes was enough for me at one time but nowdays not even two of them were sufficient.I kept on smoking and drinking.I was broke and so I lengthened my studies because I started working as a waiter in a pub.I was very popular among the regulars and so we celebrated every day even if there was nothing to celebrate and in actual fact, I was working.The management tolerated it because I was trying to work hard no matter how much drunk I was.One knows he´s addict but I was free until my hands started really trembling.

The only thing, which took effect, was a snorter or at best 2 or 3 in a quick succession.Then my problem was sorted out.After two hours the shakes recur and I´m afraid of not being capable of serving the soups. Other two snifters help me and simultaneously I drink beer the whole day long.

And this was the beginning of the end.I needed to earn some money for boozing and so I worked in a pub.In order to be able to work in a pub I needed my hands not to shake -  and for this I needed to booze again??? It was a vicious cirle. There was a time of the complete delirium when I didn´t return home but I was put up at the back room of the pub and worked and drank in the pub.I didn´t go out anymore except on a binge somewhere.Everything had gone like a house on fire until then but suddenly it started coming apart at the seams.I almost stopped eating and nothing interested me anymore.I kept drinking.My parents persuaded me to stop on every occasion but I hated them for that.They didn´t know what to do with me.I rarely went home, often returned at night and at day I pretended to be sleeping and waited for the moment to run away somewhere and get drunk.I couldn´t live without it.Once my parents borrowed my little son in eiderdown and I could feel his presence through the door.I wanted to see him but simultaneously I needed to get drunk.I escaped and tried to forget about everything.I didn´t do any good things anymore.My life went on for months like this.

I thought of ending my life after being drunk for 39 days in succesion.I came to the pub, had 12 beers and a litre of vodka,said goodbye to my colleague who´d repeatedly persuaded me to stop drinking and who didn´t understand my behaviour at that moment.She thought I´d bid her farewell and go home.It was what I did.I used a larger quantity of kodein pills and other tablets and tried to write something but was incapable of writing nor thinking.I only know I cried after a long time.But then something happened that I didn´t understand.I woke up in the morning and was still alive.I couldn´t believe it.

Shortly after I decided to cut out drinking, I thought I´d manage it.I stayed in my room and only went on the balcony to have a smoke.By moonlight I asked someone to help me feel better because my state got worse and worse.I asked someone and didn´t even know who.I wasn´t able to eat a single yoghurt,roll or anything for about two weeks.Whatever I ate I immediately brought up.In addition, I suffered from unbearable cramps in different parts of my body.You writhe in agony , sweat and you must think all the time of giving it up and having a drink again.Just going to the bathroom is never-ending and tiring because of the shivers and complete exhaustion.Although you don´t eat anything you have a bowel movement.About two months later it all went away.I was very tired but I had a good appetite.It was a fantastic feeling to eat something and not to bring it up immediately.I was happy like a small child.I knew I´d pull it off.As the only place that I knew and where I liked to go was my pub I decided to stop there.When I ordered coffee and Kofola ( a Czech soft drink ) nobody could believe it.In the meantime I met my girlfriend Mary who is a brilliant person.She accepted me and I love her with all my heart.:).

To cut a long story short, we´ve going steady for two years and a half.She caused me to believe although it took me a long time to believe of my own accord and to feel the God´s presence personally.You can enjoy life for no special reason.You´re glad the others are happy and you have a good mind to help them.In autumn I took part in the Course Alfa in Kroměříž.I was encouraged by it but in my opinion the most important thing there was the fellowship of people who are unprejudiced, like to lend a willing ear to you and help to show you what your real path is.I could feel that God was there with us but only at those moments when I really wanted it to feel and when I really believed in it.